being a lesbian or feeling lesbian attraction isn’t just about feeling sexual or romantic desire for women. those are the defining aspects of our identities, absolutely, but i’ve found there’s another complex foundation to our identities that’s not talked about much. I’m not trying to desexualize lesbianism and lesbian attraction (as a lesbian who loves sex lmao) but sadly in my experience lesbian identity isn’t as simple as wanting to fuck girls. it’s incredibly hard to take your own identity seriously and cultivate it with the love and care it deserves in a society where basically everyone is screaming at you to just give up and date men. being a lesbian or a woman who wants to be with other women means nurturing a seriously admirable amount of self-possession and confidence in your own nonnormative identity, and i am so proud of all of us who shoulder that incredible task, one day at a time.
(via typical-straight-girl)